so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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