i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize