I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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