You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
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i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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