My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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