You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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