Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize