Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
