Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize