You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
