xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
