you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
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You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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