How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
