and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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