You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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