You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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