We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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