he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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