Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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