hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
