just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
