This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
sarcasm needs its own font
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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