I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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