I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
