Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
