fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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