hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
