after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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