I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
my poor anus
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
