fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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