shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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