I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
