I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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