i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
