matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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