Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
im holly from the hills drunk
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
