my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
