he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize