eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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