please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
