my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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