ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize