***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize