You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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