GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Come share oat with me in your robe
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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