Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize