I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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