This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
lol hangovers are for mortals.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
