Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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