Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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