im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
