I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
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I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
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the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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