Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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