the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
