At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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