i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
