this beer tastes like vomit already
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
