OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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