We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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