the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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