Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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