Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
