Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
