My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
