So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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