That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
this hospital has no fireball
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
