I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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