Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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