lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
this hospital has no fireball
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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