If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
