I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
