Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
