Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
