it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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