I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Found your dick twin last night
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
