At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
