He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
