the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
